So, what makes the Ultra Wand from Femme Funn such a shining star in the fiercely competitive world massage wands? The first thing that grabbed at me was the fully textured surface. It’s visually appealing, sure, but that subtle quilting gives a good solid grip. Even lubed up, once you have the handle in your hand, it is there to stay. It’s also fully covered in that silicone skin, so it’s 100% play area with no worries about getting lubricants, or any other assorted fluids, anywhere they can cause problems or be difficult to clean. The magnetic charge port paired with that full cover renders the tool fully waterproof, in fact.
The next consideration is the size. Ultra Wand is just big enough to offer real wand rumble, but not so large that it overflows the hand or is awkward to wield. And it does rumble, the vibration both deep and penetrating. The head is a perfect balance of smaller size and firm flex to be invaluable for muscle massage, in addition to the obvious orgasmic adventures. It resists a press just enough to offer pressure, while still settling into the position you need. Truth be told, my own Ultra is the pressure point go-to for my sadly migraine prone self. It’s also super quiet, so I can hold it to my temple and neck and not feel like my head is pressed to a wood chipper.
And for those reasons, I was seduced. It’s fun to look at, with bright colors and clever quilting. It is strong, quiet, easy to handle, and easy to grip. It is submersible for cleaning and aquatic adventures. It also has a long shelf life for the charge, so you can leave it for weeks between uses (if you can wait that long) and it will still be ready when you are. All told, the value is great. For head and back pain alone, it would be worth owning, but this is a full package kind of wand.