I love a good art project. I especially love a good messy art project that involves both science and sex. It would seem that many share my enthusiasm, because that the very core of the Empire Labs’ Clone-a-Willy kit! The process is simple and beautiful. Measure, mix, insert, wait, disengage, mix, pour, wait, and you have a perfect replica of whatever it is you used during the “insert” step. I will admit, I work with mold making and silicone in my down time, so this is both personally exiting and and well within my skill set. Lucky for all involved, the prep work has been done in the kit, so anyone can make this work. There are no prerequisites at all. The best part is that Empire Labs is located right here in Portland, Oregon. It has never felt so good to shop locally.

The “measure, mix, pour” part involves tap water and a conveniently pre-measured package of alginate powder. Aligante is the same thing used to make dental impressions, so no worries about any body part that may come in contact with it. It is very friendly and quite biocompatible. Mix that packet with ordinary water, as detailed in the directions, and stir as directed. Once you have completely mixed your molding powder, it’s time for the next step.

“Insert…” It could be your fingers, a penis, a carrot, or an eggplant, anything that will fit into the included cylinder and not touch the edges. If you do touch the edges of the tube, it will cause a flat shiny spot on your final replica, wherever that contact occurs. As an aside, the plastic cylinder is called a mother mold. It provides a firm outer shell that allows the much more pliable alginate to keep its shape and produce an accurate reproduction of whatever you put in there.  Back to business; you have your eggplant in the cylinder and you are holding it very still…

“Wait.” Not long, just a minute or two. The temperature of your water and how long you mix plays into this. That’s all in your instructions. Once your mold has gelled, you may disengage your eggplant from the tube. It feels good to be free!

We are back to “mix” again. This time, you are mixing two precisely measured amounts of silicone and catalyst. Use all of both containers! We are dealing with another chemical reaction here and your balance of part Mix until you are done, then mix some more. Unmixed pockets could have sticky results. Pour the fruit of your labor into your waiting mold.  (If you choose to include a vibrator in your replica, now is the time to do it.  A holder and directions on how to use it are included in the kit.)

Now walk away. It takes several hours, so you probably want to leave it over night. You will want to poke at it. You will loooong to poke at your silicone slurry as it vulcanizes in its snug alginate cocoon. Don’t. Science it happening and you don’t want to disturb it.  Once the next day has dawned, you may break open your mold and marvel at your perfectly reproduced glow-in-the-dark silicone eggplant. It is yours and you have made it immortal. You have every right to be proud.