Penis pumps are many and varied, but today is about the Powerhouse Pump from NS Novelties. When it first came to our stores, it was one of the only automatic rechargeable pump on the dance floor. There are a few more now, but the Powerhouse still stands out among its fellows. Insert relevant body parts, power on, and the pump does all the work for you as you relax and watch the clear cylinder (with your choice of imperial or metric graduation on the side). To make that even more appealing, let us return to the fact that it is rechargeable. No fussing with batteries or battery compartments (more on that later)! Tag that on to the clean-and-easy NS Novelties warranty and stellar customer service and there is no question to the value of this device among it’s peers.

The controls are absurdly simple. Once your seal is made against the body [M+] starts your suction. Pressing again increases the speed of the vacuum. As one would expect, [M-] slows suction with each press until the motor slips back into quiescence. [Valve] opens the seal and releases the pressure. The release is slow, so you may just reduce just a bit of vacuum, to adjust comfort, rather than being all or nothing (though it does take a moment to free yourself). As for noise, this monster is virtually silent. I was a bit startled by the power of the motor considering the lack of sound. I would strongly recommend starting slow and get to know the device, as it really goes have a lot of muscle.

Why an auto-pump, though? It’s not a medical device, it doesn’t come with promises of increased size or body modification. It’s just a pump for an easy instant erection, like any other, right? One of the things I look for, when I’m filling our stores, is accessibility. That is what the Powerhouse provides. For someone with arthritis, hypermobility, amputation, or any number of other conditions, hand-pumping a bulb over and over might be an insurmountable obstacle. This pump solves those problems with one simple switch. Remember when I made a point of no batteries? That’s not just fewer batteries in a landfill, that also no battery compartment to juggle when your arthritis is flaring and you want an erection NOW.

All that said, this thing is so pretty, who wouldn’t want to use it?